Thursday, June 25, 2009

Microsoft's Lack of Taste


STEVE Jobs once famously said in a 1996 interview, "The only problem with Microsoft is they just have no taste. They have absolutely no taste."

If the Redmond company's tacky, half-baked software weren't proof enough, take a look at their current ad campaign for Internet Explorer 8. This is a still from one of the promotional videos:


In case it's unclear what's happening here, this woman has just vomited in graphic detail. Three times, in fact. Apparently because her husband didn't use IE8's new private browsing feature -- something which, I should note, has been in Safari for about two years, and already exists in Google's Chrome and the new version of Firefox.

Viral videos are all well and good, but I don't think they're supposed to leave you feeling as if you've actually caught a virus. If the sight of someone hurling realistic greenish-brown chunks (and then someone else slipping in it) is right up your alley, you can see the video in full here on YouTube. (Someone who's quite at home staring at puke strikes me as about right for the average Windows user.) I've watched it once out of morbid curiosity, and it didn't leave me amused or convinced of Internet Explorer's superiority. Rather, it left me convinced that Jobs had their number all those years ago.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Jobo photoGPS Software Hangs, Java Bugfix


BECAUSE an earlier post of mine scrutinizing the Jobo photoGPS has inched its way toward the top of Google's search results, this blog has become a go-to destination for folks seeking all kinds of info on the photoGPS: the compatibility (or lack thereof) of its Suunto SDF data files, new versions of the software, or the efficacy of the device indoors. Not that I mind; I'm happy to give answers when I have them.

Some Mac users who've installed the recent Java update via OS X's Software Update may have been encountering problems with the Jobo photoGPS software. My own experience was that "photoGPS" would appear in the menubar and the app's icon would appear in the dock, but the app would then hang.

I was contacted earlier today by someone looking into the problem and offering a potential fix. He seemed to think that the updated Java was "now defaulting to running applications in 64-bit mode on 64-bit capable Macs, which is a problem because photoGPS is currently 32-bit only."

There's no officially updated version of the photoGPS software out yet, but Jobo has just sent an e-mail around with the following instructions for resolving the hangs:

For the short term you can fix the problem by yourself by entering the following command in the Terminal window:

defaults write /Applications/photoGPS.app/Contents/Info Java -dict-add JVMArchs i386


If manual commands aren't your thing, there's also a small bugfix Applescript app, which you can download here. That will do the job for you. Please note that neither I nor Jobo accept any responsibility if your computer suddenly explodes on account of this. All I can say is that it worked for me, and the only thing it's instructed to do is write that little line of code so you don't have to.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Case of the Vanishing RSS Feed


IT'S come to my attention that older incarnations of this site's RSS feed (though not quite as old as when it was still found at charlatan.blogspot.com) are generating errors. This has to do with some odd decision at Google to firmly separate Blogger URLs from personal URLs. If you're one of those clever types who saves yourself time and effort by receiving updates automatically instead of popping in every now and then to see what's changed, I'd ask that you resubscribe by clicking the appropriate box in the sidebar (up at the top under "Subscribe") or by simply clicking here. Then again, if you haven't been using the RSS feed, you won't have been getting any errors.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Bowerbirds Feature + Reviews


THE feature on the Bowerbirds that I finished nine months ago (and started nearly a year ago) has finally been published in Supplemental #9 of Copper Press. As luck or sad coincidence would have it, that's just in time for the release of the band's new album, Upper Air, on July 7.

In addition to Jennifer Kelly's interview with Larkin Grimm and two artist interviews by Royce Deans, this issue includes my reviews of the Radar Bros. full-length Auditorium and Robert Pollard's album and book Robert Pollard Is off to Business and Town of Mirrors: The Reassembled Imagery of Robert Pollard, respectively. These, too, have seen a similarly long run-up to publication. All of them were submitted in the autumn of last year, which has left several publicists none too pleased.

The protracted delay between submission and publication and the magazine's decision to switch to a freely distributed PDF digital format are, I suppose, effects of the same cause that is driving the radical changes across all print media. Print advertising dollars have dried up, circulation is difficult to maintain when so many online outlets offer similar content for free, and digital distribution is more cost-effective and better suited to regular updates and breaking news.

I don't know if this means that Copper Press will end the Supplemental series and run under its own name in the future, or if the Supplemental moniker marks the magazine's official break with the past, but I doubt we'll see another print issue again. Part of the beauty of CP was the way it felt in your hands, but, if I'm honest, I think the benefits of the Web are more in line with its mission, if it ever had one to begin with.

Download the Supplemental for free here.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Some Damn Good Falafel


SOMETIME around the age of ten or so I had a vague ambition to become a chef. Nothing ever came of that vague ambition, although today I do still enjoy spending time in the kitchen and giving the odd recipe a whirl. If I woke up to find that from now on an extra ten hours would be tacked on to each new day, I'd probably resolve to devote about two of them to more culinary experiments.

My skills in this area are about on a par with my talent for gardening. That is to say, on occasion I get lucky and whatever whim I've yielded to turns out well, but most of the time whatever I've baked, fried, mixed, sautéed or steamed doesn't quite look or taste like the cookbook said it was going to.

Today it was both disaster and delight. The hummus recipe I was following called for chickpeas, as you might expect, but it failed to mention cooked chickpeas. So I took about a pound of soaked-but-not-boiled chickpeas, added just the right amount of tahini, fresh lemon juice, olive oil and minced garlic, and then plunged in my electric mixer, ultimately creating an unpleasantly gritty, bitty paste with only the faintest hint of hummus flavor. Adding boiling water and microwaving the concoction after the fact did in fact smooth out the texture to something more palatable, but it also changed the consistency in ways that I wouldn't quite describe as spreadable.


My wife hit on the idea that hummus shares many of its ingredients with falafel and suggested that the industrial glue I'd created be repurposed, or less euphemistically, salvaged. In went some diced onion, chopped parsley, and crushed cumin and coriander seeds. I wadded it into walnut-sized balls and dropped them into frying oil. (Well, that's not entirely correct. First I dropped them into some beef fat that I'd been saving in the fridge. Beef fat, however, is apparently not ideal for this sort of deep-fat frying, and the first few wads of falafel just dissolved.)

What emerged, eventually, was some of the tastiest falafel I've ever eaten. Damn good falafel, if I do say so myself. To paraphrase Robert Penn Warren: "Out of culinary mishaps shall come forth deliciousness."

Sunday, June 07, 2009

Paul Harris (Wrongly) on the Irrelevance of Woody Allen


PERSONALLY, I don't give a hoot if a handful of so-called modern, "mainstream" Jews find Woody Allen's throwback Whatever Works irrelevant and passé, as Paul Harris reports (I use the word loosely) today in the Guardian. I didn't watch films like Annie Hall, Manhattan, Radio Days, Zelig, and Deconstructing Harry again and again to the point of obsession because I identified with them as a Jew—largely because I'm not—but because, in addition to being good to excellent films in their own right, they captured something of my own gripes, anxieties, aspirations, foibles, quirks, and passions. To say that his cinematic persona spoke exclusively to the American Jewish experience is a very narrow reading indeed. And judging from the looks of the new film's pre-release ratings on IMDB, I'm not the only one who feels this way. Unless, of course, all those high marks are from aging Jews from the old school who don't realize how hip they've become.

Rereading Harris' article a third time, I'm irked by this idiocy:

The most powerful producer in films today, Judd Apatow, the force behind Knocked Up, is Jewish. So are huge comedy stars such as Seth Rogen, Ben Stiller and Adam Sandler. Not a year in Hollywood goes by without all three of them churning out hit comedies.


The Apatow statement is inane and proves absolutely nothing. Has there ever been a time when there wasn't a powerful Jewish producer in Hollywood? Beyond that, the reason Rogen, Stiller and Sandler are "huge comedy stars" is because they, like Apatow, are churning out dipshit comedies for mass audiences. Once in a blue moon there's a Zoolander or a Punch-Drunk Love to partially redeem them, but a casual onscreen reference to Freud's Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious, Balzac ("There goes another novel"), or Bergman will never cross any of these actors' lips. To appreciate Allen, it helps to have read something besides FHM and the Sunday comics (even the groaners and slapstick gags in Bananas hinge on a knowledge of US politics, and the cornball Love and Death has a whole sequence of one-liners from the works of Dostoyevsky), and this cultured humor, not his religious background, is why Allen's never been completely on a par, popularitywise, with Harris' holy trio.

Whatever Works may have its flaws, but the mere fact that Allen has returned to the style of his earlier work is not one of them. The only thing grasping for relevance is Harris' fatuous article.

VoIP for the Home User


AROUND the time we made the switch to a cable Internet connection, I began experimenting with VoIP. Given that we had been paying something like 20 euros per month (not counting the cost of any calls) for a Deutsche Telekom landline, it seemed like a far better use of our money to put that basic service charge toward the actual calls instead of using it to pay for the simple privilege of having a phone plugged into a wall. Here are some of my experiences of the past year with VoIP.

First, for the benefit of the novice user, the basics.

Based on this diagram I ganked from a Google Image search and then modified in obvious ways, you can see a rough hardware setup for most VoIP-enabled home networks. Some modems and routers are combined, thereby eliminating one of the devices in this image, and some VoIP phones connect to the USB port of your computer instead of the router. For the most part, however, this is how the device tree would look for a VoIP setup. The modem keeps you connected to your ISP, the router does all the actual networking, the computers and phone perform their respective tasks, and the Internet, as we all know, is just a series of tubes.

VoIP can be as complicated as you like. You can set up your own PBX with call forwarding, extensions, voicemail, dial plans, hold music, and other features, which would be the complicated side of the spectrum, or you can keep things fairly rudimentary and straightforward. My own setup is somewhere between the two.

I use a DrayTek Vigor 2910VG broadband router, which, if you were to browse through some of my previous blog entries, hasn't always been the most reliable device. But the most recent firmware update (v3.2.2) has been nothing if not trouble-free, and I can recommend this router with the up-to-date firmware in good conscience to any home user who's looking to pursue VoIP in earnest. Unfortunately for US residents, DrayTek's foray into the market has been halfhearted at best (just look at their sorry excuse for a company website) and there aren't too many places that carry their products. DSL Warehouse is the only one I know of. This is one instance where Asian, Australian and European residents have it better.

Plugged into that DrayTek—using a standard RJ-11 connector—is your run-of-the-mill DECT (aka digital cordless) phone. Nothing fancy. It's a Siemens, and I think we bought it on sale for about thirty euros.

With the router and phone sorted out, it was time to sign up with different VoIP services. Different providers have different advantages, and this, I should add, is the big advantage of VoIP. Vyke has incredibly cheap rates (something like 3 euro cents per call to select countries) and occasional promotions that will double your credit. Its call quality used to be sketchy at best but is now clearer than most landlines. Sipgate has a ton of features, such as voicemail, SMS, fax receipt and sending, and emergency (911 in the US, 112 in Germany, 999 in the UK, etc.) calling. VoIPuser gives you free 15-minute calls anywhere in the world. Others, like Gizmo, cover everything from PC-to-PC calling to Skype bridging, plus have inexpensive calling to mobile phones. PhonePower, which does charge a monthly service fee, is running a deal that works out to be around $8/month for two years, with unlimited calling in the US and Canada. Until it morphed into something else altogether, Free World Dialup used to offer free calling to US 1-800 numbers; FreeDigits, if it ever returns from the hiatus that began in October 2008, will do the same. And on and on. There's really no limit to the number of services you subscribe to, there's rarely an ongoing charge fee unless you want lots of additional features, and you can always choose the best provider for the call you want to make.

Figuring out what's available just takes a bit of Googling. Sites like MyVoIPProvider.com offer feature and rate comparisons for business and residential users, along with useful reviews, and VoIPProvidersList.com does what it says on the tin. In my experience, you'll have to dig a bit further to find the best pay-as-you-go providers; for me, a combo of Sipgate, Vyke and Gizmo is something no phone company could ever beat.

VoIP's advantages aren't just limited to low-cost outgoing calls and a frequent absence of binding contracts or service fees. Providers in different countries will often give you a free incoming phone number in that country. This enables us to have domestic numbers in Germany, the UK, and America, which means better rates for the people in those countries who are still calling us on ordinary landlines and mobiles.

As a 2910VG, the V being a "voice" designator, my DrayTek router can log into a maximum of six SIP accounts. Initially, I had it signing into as many accounts as it could handle. But what would happen is that the router would get a bit flustered with so many registrations, especially if I was gobbling bandwidth through downloads, and it ended up dropping the connections. If you're not registered with (that is, logged into) your SIP account, it's like leaving your phone unplugged. And an unplugged phone isn't very useful when you want to make or receive calls.

This was solved by moving the heavy lifting to MySIPswitch. With MySIPswitch, I've centralized my accounts, meaning that I only need one login/password to connect to all my VoIP providers. Whether my fictitious friend Zack calls me on my UK number (courtesy of VoIPuser) or my US number (courtesy of Sipgate or IPKall), it comes through to the same phone(s). When I want to call Zack, I can select the account that offers the best rates by using a prefix: dialing "*7" before his number calls with Sipgate; dialing "*1" calls with Vyke. And this works not only with the phone that's connected to my router, but also with the Fring application on my iPod Touch. While traveling abroad, I was able to hop on a WiFi network and use the exact same method to call out and receive calls.

At home, instead of using the traditional telephone, I can also place calls through a softphone like Telephone or X-Lite on my desktop and use a Bluetooth headset to free up my hands for typing or cooking. Just like Fring on my iPod Touch or the cordless phone connected to my router, these softphones log into MySIPswitch too, once again allowing me to receive incoming calls and use the same dialplan (the *7 and *1 example above) for outgoing calls.

If all that sounds a bit confusing, or should the benefits still be unclear, I suppose you could think of it this way: It's not uncommon to have three telephones in your house. One in the kitchen, one upstairs, and maybe another in the den. When someone calls your phone number, all three phones ring. You pick up one, you talk, you hang up. Easy.

With VoIP, it's similar. Only those three phones can be completely different devices, each with its own benefits. One might be a computer, another an iPod, and another a conventional phone. And while the conventional phone stays put, that computer (particularly if it's a laptop) and iPod can be anywhere in the world. So when someone calls you on your "home" number, answering from your kitchen is the same as answering from an Internet café in Outer Mongolia. Without the exorbitant roaming charges of a mobile phone.

To distill it even further, it comes down to cost and flexibility. VoIP in conjunction with a little tech know-how keeps the cost of calling to a minimum while offering us much greater flexibility. The few drawbacks of VoIP, on the other hand, should be self-evident, and are covered on this page in some detail; to my mind, they're still not as bad as mobile charges and the regular fees of traditional phone companies. The best thing about it all? When we move from one country to another, setting up phone service will be as easy as plugging in my router. Everyone will still be able to call us on the numbers they've been using for years.